RED ISSUE'S WORLD CUP SWAGMAN CORRESPONDENT CHECKS-IN

Last updated : 14 June 2002 By Nippon Norman
Obviously all the fans out here are moneyed mongs, proper sanitised job it is. No real "lads" to be seen anywhere really, just fuckin idiots. the amount of shirts with face painted is ridiculous on all sides. Proper wacky zany folks they are. Not. Loads of Japs without tickets today, fuckin loads but never is the country gripped by football fever, most wouldn't know they are playing.

Proper 24 hour place this Tokyo though, crazy gaff. All these Japs do is kip, forever sleeping every chance, on tubes everyone is asleep, pickpockets heaven. Even saw a bloke a kip on a fuckin bike the other day. Unbelievable. they'll park their cars at the sides of the roads, leave the engines running for the air con and go to sleep. No wonder the scousers are having a field day, quite literally having Grands away they are.

Just been down Yokohama for that Japan game, didn't hang around though. Old Bill right on top for selling at Japan games, probably because stepping on locals toes but the Japs don't punt for their own gear anyway, only want foreign, particularly England stuff. People fucking off to Thailand every day now bringing back snide footie kits. 3-4 quid in bangers, getting up to 10 thousand yen here, about 60 quid, for England kits at England games. Best thing is swagmen can declare them at customs and pay minimal duty provided they have receipts form bangers. Japs not clued onto/arsed about copyright breach and most have snide receipts saying they paid equivalent of one quid a shirt so they pay about 50 quid per 130 snide shirts: a right result!

Two English old bill in Bangkok tracking known football lads, best blag of tourney surely? One lad was stopped by them asking if United were going on to Japan - few Utd lads are in Thailand for holiday. Fuckin clueless. Bangers is 5 hours and 250/300 quid away. equally snide and cheap kits can be had in Korea only an hour flight away but no one is onto that yet.

Went to Irish hotel last night for a few beers. full of wedged paddy supporters. Loads of pads trying to cop with local trollops in hotel bar. That Germany game was a right trek, not far out of Tokyo, Irish hotel about halfway there but took 3 fuckin hours cos trains stop everywhere. Unless a place is on a bullet route then takes forever to get anywhere. Few missed the last minute goal and wouldn't have been in the mood for celebrating after getting back to Tokyo three hours later.