Sunday 15 March is undoubtedly a special day in the football calendar.
"Why?" you ask. Because it's Paul Pogba's birthday, of course! The Frenchman has been restricted to limited minutes on the pitch this season, but if any positive can be drawn from his absence, it's that he's had plenty of time to plan the best birthday party ever!
But what exactly would go on at the birthday bash of one the world's greatest players?
90min takes a peek behind the curtain on Paul's special day.
Hair Spraying Corner
Every good birthday party has a face-painting corner, right? But Pogba has gone one step further, creating his very own hair-spraying booth! Awesome!
Every Old Trafford star is strutting around the dance hall with a super-cool streak in their hair, temporarily forgetting they are full-grown men, amid all the excitement.
The Man Utd players all join forces to drag Roy Keane and Graeme Souness over to the booth, and the pair are now fuming in the corner with red stripes in their barnet. Souness is comforting himself with a big stick of candy floss, wondering why he's even there.
DJ Dab
Music - the single most important element of any party. After the Macarena, Cha Cha Slide and Believe by Cher have all got the crowd nicely warmed up, Pogba decides it's time to take matters into his own hands.
He signals to Jesse Lingard, who, mic in hand, is ready to drop some sick bars. 40 minutes later, and Panda by Desiigner is still on repeat, as our birthday hero attempts to break the world record for the longest dab session in history.
Juan Mata walks over to the DJ Booth, but his requests for 'a bit of Enrique Iglesias mate' are rejected. I'm with you, Juan. Lingard ends his bars my rapping 'Liverpool - more like cry me a Riverpool' and drops the mic off the stage. Classic.
Beans
The lights go down on the dance floor, and a single beam shoots down on one man. It's JLINGZ. What's that he's holding? That's right.
It's a tin of beans.
Cracking open the Heinz sensation, he pours the contents over his head, screaming "BEANS BEANS BEANS" at the top of his lungs.
He throws the remaining protein-filled treats on the floor with all its juices, and as every promising youngster at a party would do, performs a breathtaking slide from one side of the hall to the other. If he had a tie, it'd be wrapped around his head.
The room is filled with silence. The music starts again, and Jesse high-fives Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who looks like he wants to kill him. All fun and games.
Comedy Hour
Time for a few laughs after all that action. Roy Keane has recovered from the hair-spraying incident, and he recounts a few classic tales about when he's severely injured players for looking at him funnily.
After the Irish misery-guts is booed off the stage, Scott McTominay saves the show with some killer impersonations. But he's in Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's bad books after he absolutely nails an impression of the Norwegian describing his winning goal in the Champions League final.
"Stop giving away my team talks!" Ole shouts from the audience in anger.
Piano Man
Today is Alexis Sanchez's birthday. I still remember the day when United signed him, we were all buzzing after that piano video. It's honestly quite sad that he turned out to be a massive flop. 😢 pic.twitter.com/ZYldP39la9
— Devils of United 🔰 (@DevilsOfUnited) December 19, 2019
"And now, coming all the way from Italy, the most overpaid footballer in history, the one and only... Alexis Sanchez!" From nowhere, a piano appears, and the Chilean superstar is sat behind it, ready to show the world his true talents.
"And now, i shall tinkle the ivories for you, Paul. Feliz cumpleaños."
Sanchez takes a sip of water from the top of the piano, but accidentally knocks the lid down onto his left hand, breaking four of his fingers. The winger hits the deck in pain, and the club doctors arrive on the scene to wheel him away. A cruel end for Sanchez.
Entertainment
The party is falling apart somewhat. The mood is dour after Sanchez's latest injury setback, so Paul puts the television on for a bit of sporting relief. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot on at the moment.
Daniel James asks if they can put the Man Utd game on, but he's quickly reminded that they're all at the party, so there's no match to watch.
Suddenly, the Teletubbies appears on the screen, and the remote control is nowhere to be found. Mason Greenwood and Brandon Williams giggle, and smile sneakily to each other.
Bruno Fernandes just looks confused.
Punching Machine
Harry Maguire pic.twitter.com/cjVuu6FO4P
— mu_photos (@mu_photos) March 9, 2020
Every perfect party - and kebab house - has a punching machine. Each Man Utd player has a crack at breaking the current record set by Gary Neville -although everyone believes he cheated.
Eric Bailly breaks his wrist as he rattles the target, and Phil Jones trips over as he takes a running leap at the machine, knocking himself unconscious in the process.
Oh Phil.
Up steps captain, leader, slabhead. Harry Maguire strides forward, takes a deep breath, and slams his forehead into the machine. "DING DING DING." The England star clears the record with ease, whilst Phil Neville holds back his brother on the other side of the room.
"Leave it Nevster, he ain't worth it bruv!"
The Cake
Happy birthday to @PaulPogba, who turns 27 today! pic.twitter.com/XR6dadGQsd
— Manchester United (@ManUtd) March 15, 2020
Finally, Pogba's cake is wheeled out! 'Glory, glory Man Utd' is blaring in the background as all the players sing 'Happy Birthday' to our very special boy. But suddenly, silence. A gasp echoes around the room. Solskjaer faints.
The cake... is a Real Madrid cake! Time to get your coat, everyone...
Source : 90min