AT LAST, A VOICE OF REASON

Last updated : 08 September 2002 By Editor

The first wave of bile has come and gone and now the slow minds of Middle England are starting to click and whirr and crank into their knuckle-dragging mob mentality.

Oh yeah, the apocalyptic garbage about Roy Keane is piling up so high you need more than wings to stay above it. You need a lift from Captain Kirk.

He deserved to be sent off, he deserves some of the criticism for an act of violence and he deserves the three-match ban that's heading his way fast.

What he didn't deserve was the cesspool of self-righteous, self-important, misguided, deluded, lazy, pack-driven, pompous, pretentious attempts at character assassination that have been aimed his way since.

Keane gets his first red card for nearly 12 months and suddenly all sorts of morons are climbing out of the woodwork saying he needs to be locked up in a rubber bedroom.

They say they are concerned for his state of mind, that he might be cracking up, that he needs help, that he's brought shame on his club and on football.

The guy takes his dog for a walk now and again and it's presented as a sure sign he's teetering on the verge of a nervous breakdown. If Eric Cantona was anointed an idiot because he used a metaphor about seagulls following trawlers, Keane's barking because he walks the dog and tells the truth in a book. How crazy can you get?

Funny these people should only target Keane as well. Strange that we didn't hear them them saying the same thing about Patrick Vieira, who got another sending off to add to his tally the next day.

Nobody questions his sanity, says he needs help, says he might be about to crack up, or that we should pack him off to the funny farm.

Strange, too, that Leeds forward Alan Smith should be described admiringly as "combative" after his England call-up this week whereas Keane is widely referred to as "brutal".

Alan Hansen, though, was having none of that as he told us in his new and rather costly column in the Daily Telegraph.

(Oh, and before we go on, it would be rude to omit the small detail that The Telegraph was slavering like a mad dog to sign Keane up for a megabucks column last season until he told them where to stick it.)

"Examining Keane's track record," Hansen wrote, "we could be facing a situation when at some stage this player is judged no longer fit to captain Manchester United."

Right, Alan. And who was your captain during your glory years at Anfield? Oh yeah, a Scottish chap called Graeme Souness, well known for being a shrinking violet.

The bandwagon is picking up speed and the mob can smell Keane's blood. Some of them can even feel a lynching coming on.

All in all, Keane has probably taken the only sensible course of action available. With all those lunatics raging around outside, a hospital is the safest place for him.