B.I.G.N.O.S.E.

From the Guardian:

Former Coventry goalkeeper Steve Ogrizovic has been forced to confirm that he is safe and sound at home in England, after an internet petition claimed he had been jailed by the Kazakhstani government.

According to a petition posted on www.petitiononline.com, Ogrizovic had been travelling the world on public transport to raise money for a charity called Over The Bar, but had accidentally "trespassed onto Kazakhstani private military land" and was being held on suspicion of being a spy.

"Here is our petition to Tony Blair and the Kazakhstani government demanding the release of footballing legend Steve Ogrizovic and protesting his innocence," began the 'Free Steve Ogrizovic appeal'. "Please sign this petition and help bring forward the release of Steve Ogrizovic."

Over 250 Coventry fans flocked to the site to help their former hero, posting messages of support such as "Please free Steve as he's a bent-nosed hero to millions" and "He's obviously innocent and this is no way for a rubbish goalkeeper to have to spend his time".

But happily, their sterling efforts were unnecessary, because Ogrizovic was soon tracked down to Coventry City's Ryton training ground, where he works as the club's Academy Director.

"This is a complete hoax," he told the Coventry Evening Telegraph. "I haven't a clue where it has come from.

"I haven't made any trips to Kazakhstan of late - nor am I planning to. I can only assume that with the well-documented break-throughs in science of late, I have obviously been cloned."

Not all who signed the petition were supportive of Ogrizovic, however. "Lock him up for life," wrote someone claiming to be the keeper's brother. "I've forever been in the shadows of the big ugly bastard. Cutting off his hands would be ideal because these are the main cause for his success.