F*CKWIT CENTRAL

From the official shite:

Manchester United's hallowed Old Trafford turf was undergoing something of a revamp today.

The club have decided to re-lay the whole pitch, but the new turf will have just nine days to bed-in before United take on Newcastle - the Reds' next home game in the Premiership.

Work started on the new surface the morning after United's Champions League clash with Bayer Leverkusen.