HMM, PERHAPS IT'S NOT THAT GREAT…

Des Kelly in the Mirror:

There is nothing remotely appealing about a public autopsy, but in the interests of science I'm afraid it is time to slap a few pieces of Manchester United on the mortuary slab.

Allow me to lay out some gory evidence and see if you agree with me. Because, however I look at it and whatever your own allegiance, it is hard to avoid the conclusion that Sir Alex Ferguson has lost the plot right now.

The present United side is a mis-shapen, passionless shadow of the great teams who dominated the English game for most of the last decade.

Worse, the solutions and excuses Ferguson is offering up are becoming more confused and desperate.

Coaching appointments have failed. Many recent signings have been ludicrously off the pace. And despite spending £80million in recent months, he is now talking about rebuilding a squad he is already supposed to have rebuilt.

Well, to coin a phrase, a fish rots from the head down. If he cannot arrest the club's creeping demise within weeks, then the board has no choice but to ask him to go at the end of the season.

Should the man himself prove unwilling to step down, then United must press a gold watch into his palm and gently usher him in the general direction of the executive lounge.

This is not some act of treacherous disrespect, it is a fact of football and business life. While he warrants respect and gratitude from supporters of the club for his past achievements, like all managers, he is there to be judged on results.

Old glories can only insulate you from reality for so long and the stark truth of the current plight is that United are now playing some of the worst football fans have seen for 20 years.

Here, for your delectation, are various bits of offal served up as an excuse for United's grim showing over recent weeks. You tell me if they smell a bit iffy or not.

First, let us address Ferguson's claim that the current United squad is too small and lacks the physical presence to compete with Arsenal and Liverpool. A fair criticism, perhaps. But it begs one important question: 'Who signed this gaggle of lightweights?' Answer: 'You, Mr Ferguson'.

Opposing teams know they will make a mistake sooner or later.

They also know they are as physical as Larry Grayson armed with a feather duster, an attitude which set in after the bruising Jaap Stam was sold in a fit of pique, to be replaced by Blanc, a player so lackadaisical he could not get into the Inter Milan team three seasons ago.

Next, let's examine Ferguson's claim, one made before the start of last season, that £28m Veron was "the final piece of the jigsaw".

Did someone lose the rest of the box? He is not so much a part of a jigsaw as a piece from Cluedo, because his contribution remains a mystery.

Why else would Ferguson suddenly be talking about a complete overhaul soon after adding this "final piece"?

And having bought the show-pony Argentine, who has been a limited success in Europe and an outright disaster in the Premiership, would you accede to Ferguson's requests for another £20m or so if you were on the club board? I thought not.

This leads us on to the week's coaching fiasco. Carlos Queiroz from Portugal was meant to add some continental sophistication to the camp. Instead, he has merely added to the chaos.

Certain players doubt his tactical know-how, his training gimmicks are failing and his methods are quietly scorned. Players are drilled for fitness, when they would prefer some inspiration and innovation. Ferguson effectively doomed his own coach when he said the other day:

"Because we've had success for such a long period, everyone knows everything about us, even foreign teams coming over here for the first time. We've got no surprises because we've been going so long."

Someone tell him he is in charge.

In a recent interview Ferguson made a number of fanciful claims which went unchallenged. He told the News Of The World that there was no need to get alarmed as, at the same stage in the Treble season, United had collected fewer points than they have now.

Nonsense.

 

In that historic season, United had picked up 28 points, lost two games and scored 30 goals at this stage. Today, they have only 23 points (and 22 when he said it). They have lost three games and scored a mere 18 goals. Why try and pull the wool over people's eyes?

Fail in the next three League games - Newcastle, Liverpool and Arsenal - and all Ferguson need do is look at the wristwatch and wait for the final whistle.

If he thinks that his legacy will live on beyond the history books, he is mistaken. Sport, and football in particular, is about the here and now.

And right now, United are ordinary - which is just not good enough, whatever the excuses.

Meanwhile in the Sun Fergie's transfer record comes under scrutiny:

Alex Ferguson has spent £80million on three players in the past 18 months.

Arsene Wenger has put together an entire 29-man squad at Highbury for £10m less.

Newcastle, tomorrow's visitors to Old Trafford, have managed to acquire a trio of the finest young players in the game for just £17m - Craig Bellamy, Keiron Dyer and Jermaine Jenas.

Those three also have an incalculable sell-on value, no doubt to Old Trafford.

Yet all the talk this week at Manchester United has been about the musical chairs among the coaching staff. I cannot believe this will make one iota of difference to the rest of their season.

United have started badly and, obviously, injuries have had something to do with this.

But their continuing shortcoming, graphically highlighted by what Wenger has achieved at Highbury, is their woeful performance in the transfer market.

Why do United have this tendency to hand over fortunes for what they believe is the finished article, some of them finished in every sense of the word, rather than unearthing the younger gem who only requires a modicum of polishing?

Ask yourself one question: When did Ferguson last pay a knockdown price for a relatively unknown player who went on to succeed?

You probably have to go back to 1996 when Ole Gunnar Solskjaer arrived from Molde for £1.5m.

In the same time, Wenger has brought in Patrick Vieira (£3.2m), Freddie Ljungberg (£2.5m), Robert Pires (£6m), Gilberto Silva (£4m) and Patrick Cygan (£2.3m), as well as signing Nicolas Anelka for £500,000 and selling him on for £23m. Even at £10m, Thierry Henry can still be considered daylight robbery while Kanu is worth £4m of anyone's money for sheer entertainment value.

If there are question marks, it would be over the £8m spent on both Gio Van Bronckhorst and Francis Jeffers.

And then there is United. In Ferguson's first decade at the club, he made some outstanding purchases - Viv Anderson, Brian McClair, Steve Bruce, Gary Pallister, Dennis Irwin, Paul Ince, Andrei Kanchelskis, Peter Schmeichel, Roy Keane and, obviously, Eric Cantona.

Ralph Milne, Jim Leighton and Danny Wallace raised a few eyebrows but, generally, Ferguson could have been pretty pleased with himself, especially since men like Pallister and Ince took some time to settle in.

But slowly Ferguson lost his touch in the market.

There were exceptions like Ronny Johnsen, Andy Cole, Jaap Stam, Teddy Sheringham and Dwight Yorke, with Yorke probably the cleverest purchase of the lot.

Other buy-ins were not quite up to the customary Old Trafford standard.

Players like Jordi Cruyff, Henning Berg, David May and bloopers William Prunier and Massimo Taibi.

Now we have the rather motley collection of Fabien Barthez, a greater shot-stopper than goalkeeper, Mikael Silvestre - if only football was just about going forward - Quinton Fortune, Laurent Blanc, Diego Forlan and Veron.

Every manager buys the odd dud, it's just you don't expect Ferguson to be making such a habit of it.