Last updated : 21 August 2004 By Editor
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As described by veg:

"The biggest assassination of any player in the history of the mag."

Diego Forlorn RIP.

He never quite lived up to Fergie's assessment did he?

"I am delighted that [he] has agreed to join us. We've watched him three times and think he has good potential, two good feet, he's quick and a good header of the ball. At 22 he represents a good future."

There is a new Red Issue out today, and those who have managed to get a sneak preview can barely contain their excitment.

The Ed's Mum was full of praise, "This is the best mag since the last one, no doubt about it," she said.

His brother was equally impressed, "I like the colour and the cartoons" he dribbled.

An old man in a pub who happened to find a copy said, "Very enjoyable stuff, I'd certainly recommend Ted's Issue to anyone who bought me a pint."

Sellers will, as usual, be around the ground tomorrow but if you are scared that they may attack you in order to steal your socks then you can subscribe instead. 10 issues direct to your door and no need to go to the match in bare feet.