OOOOOHHHHHHH, GET HER

Last updated : 01 August 2003 By Editor
The Major League Soccer spokesman Mark Noonan has voiced his
disappointment that United didn’t play against an American
team during this summer’s tour:

"We're disappointed because we would have liked to be
involved in some capacity. It would have been of great
benefit to us for one of our sides to play against one of
the world's leading clubs, and equally it would have been of
benefit to them. The American people would have loved to see
a game like this. Plus, the league has access to network
television and we could have brought that to the programme.

"I don't want to sound arrogant but the MLS has helped to
create the market they are seeking to exploit. We would have
welcomed the opportunity to be involved but they made a deal
with the promoter. It was a business transaction.”

However USA Today have got their knickers in a twist over
it, and accuse United of being cowards too afraid to play
against the New York Metro Stars.

"Manchester United - wimps, cowards, pretty boys taking the
easy road like a champion boxer ducking the top contender.
Can you imagine the headlines if they made a Beatles- style
landing in New York and then lost to the MetroStars? Perhaps
they figure it'll be easier to explain a loss to a
mysterious Mexican team (United actually won 3-1) than -
gasp - a bunch of Americans. And so they duck.

"Ruud van Nistelrooy knows he can't put any shots past Kevin
Hartman and Adin Brown. These aren't the second-rate
Scandinavian goalkeepers he faces in England, where the only
star is the former MLS player Brad Friedel. And the Neville
brothers would rather shank the ball into the third row 20
times a game than try to contain Carlos Ruiz or Taylor
Twellman."

Yeah nice one.